clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
