there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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