She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
