She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
