Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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