I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
