She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
