I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
