Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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