You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
