Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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