Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
