I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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