I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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