dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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