You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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