i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
