I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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