yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
