Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
