When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize