I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
