Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's get the cat blown out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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