My hair reeks of homosexuality.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
