If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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