her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
