dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
either way he was missing a nipple.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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