Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
