she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
