She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
