My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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