finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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