i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
