things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
