Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
