I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
