when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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