I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize