hell yes lets make some ravioli
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
