Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
