planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sorry my hands just texted you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
