I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
