I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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