i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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