so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
