we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
