Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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