quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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