I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
