Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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