She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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