East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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