im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
please come you make the beer taste better
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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