Non-Jews are for practice
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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