what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
