dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
look no pants
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
